You Might be Married to a Surgeon If…

You might be married to a surgeon if:

1)  You move as much as a military family.  We have moved to New Jersey for medical school, Massachusetts for residency, Alabama for a fellowship, Oregon for a fellowship, Wisconsin for the first job and back to Massachusetts for a second job.

2) Instead of minding your p’s and q’s, you mind the i’s and o’s.  Anyone who has had surgery can tell you that a surgeon’s favorite question after the surgery is “are you going to the bathroom.”  Ins and Outs (i’s and o’s) are often a source of topic in our household.

3)  Your sleep is interrupted regularly.  The beeper going off, the phone ringing, the cursing when someone needs to rush into the hospital at 2 in the morning – I’d rather be breast-feeding again.  I am never, ever going to get a good night’s rest again.

4)  Every knob and handle in your little apartment was once covered in knotted threads.  A surgeon needs to learn his knots!  Two-handed, one-handed, left-handed, right-handed, upside down on the head while naming anatomy in alphabetical order.  Why not tie threads all over the house so you can practice where ever you are.

5) You will only have a year off between finishing paying for medical training and starting to pay for college for Number 1.  No joke.

6)  Your Spouse never lets his hands drop below his waist when he is standing still.  It’s the surgeon posture – gotta protect the sterile area.

7)  You know how to diagnose appendicitis over the phone without any medical training.  Spouse says I was once mumbling to him to check the white blood count and get an ultrasound in my sleep when he was taking a call from the hospital.

8)  You are close enough to the source for people to tell you really private things about themselves.   Lots of times you don’t want to know these things.

If most of these things are true, you could be married to a surgeon, or maybe you might just be a mother 🙂

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