A. When You’re An A Type Personality and Your Child Isn’t
I admit it. I am an A type personality. I throw myself into projects and will not stop until they are completed. I am usually trying to do 3 things at once. I thrive on it, I always have.
I am depressed when I feel like I have nothing to do. I struggled when I became a SAHM and the kids went to school in September. Not racing the clock to get things done, but having a list of very undefined tasks like “keeping the house clean” made me feel useless. I lasted 6 months before I started a blog and doing freelance science writing simultaneously.
Paired with this, I also have a clear sense of self-sufficiency and strong work ethic. Maybe it is my New England roots, but I believe in accomplishing things myself. I believe in digging in, figuring out how to solve something, and putting in the hard work to accomplish it. I also believe you should always do your best. There is no sense in doing something if you are going to do it “half-assed,” as my dad used to say.
When I was around 9 or 10, I was obsessed with horses, like many young girls. We had a barn, and a field, and they were empty. I begged my father to let me get a horse. He finally told me I could get a horse when I could afford to buy one and take care of it. I sold chicken eggs, mowed our field, took care of neighbors’ pets and babysat. When I was 11 I bought my first pony. Boy was my dad sorry he said those words.
Number 1 started middle school this year. And he is, let’s just say, less motivated than I am. He skims through tasks, not really caring about whether he does a good job. When he has to do something, even if it is something he wants to do, he whines and begs to get someone to help him. I can’t fathom him taking care of a horse.
It bothers me the most when it comes to school work. His teachers say he is an A+ student, but he does B to A- work. It frustrates me that he doesn’t do his best, and I admit, I want to see him get all A’s like I did.
I am still trying to figure this one out. I have mom guilt that maybe I haven’t instilled a good work ethic in him. Or that I haven’t given him enough responsibility to challenge him.
On the flip side, there are such wonderful things about his personality. He loves playing soccer, but not to win. He just likes playing and he is a cheerleader for all of his team mates, the ones that excel at soccer and the ones that don’t.
When I am stressed out about something, he sees through the situation and comes up with the good in it. “Well Mom, even though we are late because Number 5 had an accident, at least he did it when we were at home! And he is doing really good for just learning how to go on the potty!”
So I think that when I do eventually figure this out, I am going to find that we have both learned from other. Let’s just hope it is the right things!