Toilet Training for Dummies
I have a confession to make. Don’t laugh, but I am really nervous about toilet training Number 5. You probably think this is ridiculous given that Numbers 1-4 manage to deposit their waste products appropriately most of the time. (If you ignore the poor aim.) Also, other parents often ask me about toilet training advice and I give it freely. Why not, I have obviously already accomplished it 4 times over. But my dirty little secret is that I have never done it alone!
When Numbers 1-3 trained, I was working for a company and the kids went to a daycare in somebody’s home from 8-5 every day. My daycare provider did the majority of the work. I only had to cover a couple of hours every weekday and then the weekends. As to Number 4 – I didn’t even initiate the training. I mean, I literally wasn’t even thinking about it. My wonderful nanny at the time told me that she was going to train her, if I didn’t mind. I told her to be my guest.
Which brings me to Number 5, my new career as a SAHM and my fears of toilet training alone. What if I fail and everyone realizes that the only reason Numbers 1-4 aren’t still sitting around in diapers is because I had other wonderful people to teach them? What if that small kernel of fear I carry that my kids were better off when I was working is true? Will child welfare services make me go back to work when Number 5 has to wear Depends because diapers don’t go above size 6?
I have tried to ignore the fact that he has shown all the signs that the real toilet training experts talk about. He tells me when he poops, he goes long periods staying dry, he shows interest in the toilet other than trying to flush all of his toys down it, blah, blah, blah.
I guess it is time for me to buy him some big boy underwear, strap on my own big girl panties and try out the advice I have given. But not until after vacation…