Things You Should Never Tell Your Kids

photo credit: Natasha_D’Souza via photopin cc

Very often we tell our children things that we shouldn’t.  It happens more often than I would like but I am not quite sure why it happens.  Sometimes it is just fun to see how gullible they are.  Sometimes it is out of desperation to end the insanity.  Many times it is to get them to do things or stay away from things.  And sometimes, they just learn things by having big ears.  I’ve compiled a list of things that we have told our children.  I am sharing it with you so you won’t make the same mistakes.

Never make up fictional children that you have sent away for bad behavior. We once told our kids that we had another older child, named Daniel, that we had sent away to military school.  The story was great around our house but it got a bit embarrassing when Number 4 repeated it at school.

Don’t tell them you own something you don’t. One year we rented a cabin in the Smokies for Thanksgiving.  We told the kids it was our secret cabin that Daniel hides in.  They fully expect to return to the cabin at some point for another vacation and randomly ask when we are going next.  And if they might finally meet Daniel there.

Never tell them personal medical information about yourself unless you are comfortable with the whole world knowing about it.  My nanny told my kids that I couldn’t have any more babies after Number 5 was born because I had my tubes tied.  They gleefully repeated this to any stranger they met for months.  The still occasionally ask if “we” can untie my tubes and have another baby, usually in a loud voice in a public place.

Don’t be sarcastic with a literal child. Number 4 once asked why she had to do all the chores in the family.  I told her it was because she was the Cinderella in the family.  It was why we had a girl in the first place.  That didn’t go over well.  Plus, then I was kind of irritated with myself that it implied that women should be doing the chores….

Never tell your children that the first one to finish gets a prize when you don’t have a prize.  Spouse is famous for this one.

You shouldn’t tell your children that cold sores are herpes.  Actually, I go back and forth about whether this is bad.  The children chanting “Mom has herpes!” is bad, but then there is the sweet, endearing voice of Number 4 saying, “I know you are having a bad day momma, because you have Herbies all over your mouth.”

Never tell your children there is a monster somewhere just to keep them away from that area.  This one can have two consequences.  It can  backfire and they will try everything to get to that area to see the monster.  Or, you will scare the pants off them and never be able to get them near the area again, or any place that looks similar, and then the monster will start living in other areas that they will also be too afraid to go near.  It could go on and on until they are adults requiring therapy to go near any closet door.

Are we the only ones warping our children?  I won’t know unless you tell me some of the things you have told your children that you shouldn’t have!